too bad you live with your parents still
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wish my penis had a tongue
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize