My nipple is on Facebook.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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