Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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