Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
