3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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