Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize