The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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