Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
