Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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