Christians are straight up FREAKS
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
