I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize