Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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