He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
