I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
