I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
