my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
