sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
