The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize