i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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