youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
