No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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