you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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