I feel like abortions should bother me more
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
