You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
