Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
