So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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