If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
