I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
