he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Come on in and take your pants off
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