Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
