Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
