I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
