I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize