I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
