tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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