Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize