I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
