watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
