only if we run a train.
done.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
