even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
