so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize