So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
