I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
