i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
