So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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