Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
