I think I died a long time ago.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
