i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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