Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
