i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
