fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
