why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
