i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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