It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
