I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
vagina is talking i cant
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize