I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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