yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
