Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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