ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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