it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
