put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
